Not My Will (1946), by Francena H. Arnold - Book Review

My own lovely, worn copy from 1980
Eleanor Stewart's parents knew early on that their lovely child had a strong will but they trusted God would help them raise her to use that strength for His service. Only their sudden death puts a stop to their plans and Eleanor is raised by her embittered aunt. She grows up learning how to please her aunt and still get her own way. But she is intelligent and begins studies in her college years in science. When her aunt dies, she leaves a will that stipulates Eleanor must remain single until her 25th birthday or forfeit her inheritance. At first she doesn't mind and spends tireless days helping an aged and respected scientist with his textbook. But unfortunately, she meets a young man and falls in love. 

Eleanor marries Chad but keeps her fortune a secret from him and even convinces him to keep their marriage a secret for a while. Chad begins to realize Eleanor doesn't share his love for God and begins in earnest to lead her toward her Savior. For Chad's sake, Eleanor wants to believe in God and what Jesus did for her, but she soon sees that she has to make a choice between her secret and her faith. She decides to work things out for herself and think about faith later on. Disaster strikes and Eleanor's world is upturned. Everything she trusted in is lost and she must come to new realization of what life means and whether her mistakes can be fixed. What she finds far exceeds her deepest wishes in a way she never could have guessed.

Reading - Good for Everything

Unlike my schedule as a child, my average count of "books read" at the end of the year is at best, two. There are just so many important things vying for my attention that, though I consider reading the best thing this side of heaven, I do very little of it.

Being a writer intent on furthering my skill, I reasoned my best bet for accomplishing this is to deliberately take the time to read more. Easier said than done, of course, but we all agree it takes small steps.

I truly love to read and what thrills me most is finding old treasures. One of such I discovered quite recently. Whilst browsing our bookcases for my next read a few months back I dug out a small, roughed up paperback. I had seen the book many times and, like many books published during its time, there was very little synopsis. I scanned the publishing date just out of curiosity and was delighted to find it written nearly 70 years ago. As I said, I like old books. I'd love to talk about the many reasons why but I think for today I'll move on.

The book was titled Not My Will. I wasn't sure what kind of story I would find but I impetuously began reading it and was soon too far in to turn back.

As I read the book, many things stood out to me. I was refreshed by a handful of aspects you don't find very often in the works of today's writers. Let me explain.

Writing Style

Francena H. Arnold, I've learned since, was an extraordinary woman. She didn't write unless she had something worth writing. And this book of hers reflects that wisdom. She wrote it with careful deliberation; I never experienced a "slow part" in the book though there were intense moments.

She moves through the events in Eleanor's life smoothly. From the start, she begins the book by establishing Eleanor's past, bringing you through 20+ years, and she does this fluently in one chapter. Some might say it's too much history to cover in just one chapter and an author would definitely be risking a choppy plot to try it. But not so with this book. There were no holes in the plot or characters, it is all real to the reader.

The Plot choice

The fact that the plot is so simple and yet so complex is also a testament to her writing abilities. The story of a rebellious girl living her own life, trying to make it work, finding she can't, enduring hardship, and finally coming to Jesus, is definitely not a new one. And yet Eleanor's story IS new and you are immediately swept into the way it plays. When you finish the book you recall the characters fondly as if they were good friends from your past that you will always remember.

Each character has their uniqueness. Eleanor, of course, Chad, each of his family in turn, and all the others you meet, even if only briefly, such as the two girls she mentions while at college, are memorable. No one blends into the background. I was particularly impressed by the way the specific characters developed.

Eleanor's Spiritual Development

In many of the Christian novels today, there is a clear line of points the main character touches as they go from rebellious to searching to humble. It's normally quite predictable and quite sudden, which stumbles the readers attention. At this point, I usually begin reading with less care and eventually only to finish the book.

In Not My Will, Eleanor does not realize her need for a Savior even after her carefully planned out life begins crumbling. When Chad exposes her to Christ she admits she is attracted to the idea but she carefully weighs what surrender to Him means. She would have to give up her hopes for the future including all the money her aunt left her. So far she only has seen a relationship with Jesus as pleasant, maybe helpful, but not any better than what she would lose were she to accept it. So she refuses. God brings her to a point where she has lost everything and there is nothing to come back to. She sees the irreparable mistakes she has left in her wake and in a final and yet thoughtful moment, surrenders to Christ. The healing process begins, though she has many questions. After reflection she sees what Jesus was trying to do and how, even when life was falling apart, He was in complete control. Trust me when I say you will be surprised at the ending: it's beautiful. You never would have guessed it at the beginning but as it nears you see just how incredibly melded it is.

Little Things I Liked

Taking a step back from the critical view of the novel, I found a handful of things just delightful. Chad's family was kind and I envied their ability to love others, especially his mother. She is a truly beautiful character, like Amy Carmichael and other spiritual heroines. She is in no way over-spiritualized.

I must add, before I finish, how much I adored the house. A country home with a fireplace, farm benefits like fresh dairy, sleigh rides in the winter and skiing. I'm sold. It can't get much better in my opinion.

If you have never read this book, you know I advise it. It has sold as many as 500,000 copies since Francena H. Arnold wrote it in 1946; you ought to find out for yourself why people find it so good. For those of you who don't care for old stories or one's with deeper meaning, give this one a chance, it will pull you in, believe me. You will learn some things while being thoroughly entertained.

There is a sequel and I haven't been able to read it yet. When I do, you'll know.

The Dana Beanie - Crochet Pattern and 70's Throwback

It's been a long time since I've taken the time to share one of my crochet patterns with my readers. And obviously, it gets a bit difficult to keep up with it all since I design patterns for Crochet Spot and try to write during the rest of my time, which consequently doesn't amount to much.

So I am thrilled to be able to share with you this free crochet pattern of mine. I call it the Dana Beanie. Like most of my projects, there is a bit of history to this design.

If you have read any of my Crochet Inspiration posts you'll know that I like to get my inspiration from old movies. Or old shows. ...And sometimes, they're not-so-old. We go back to the early 70's with this one, if you haven't guessed already. It was during that time that the art of crochet began to grow in popularity and the modern generation started sporting crocheted bags, hats, and who knows what else. All in bright colors, of course.

I'm not hard-core hippy. There are many styles I preferred before they reached the psychedelic era. But there are a few elements of my taste that have some beginnings in the hippy days. Of course, you might be surprised to know I don't really like beanies, personally. But being the costume designer enthusiast I am, almost every bit of fashion has their good points. Almost. Basically, if I wanted a 70's look, I wouldn't hesitate to don a beanie. Though more often than not, I use my sister for my costume designing puppet. She never minds.

While watching my favorite TV show, Mission: Impossible, one of the newer IMF agents named Dana (you don't know how hard it is to restrain myself from turning this into a Mission: Impossible review) wears a beanie briefly. I saw it and knew immediately the ease with which I could crochet one like it. I wasn't convinced that I should, though --I have a lot of ideas and you already heard my opinion on beanies. But I did anyway.

Unfortunately for me, Rachel at Crochet Spot already had something too similar. I had to throw the beanie aside and jump onto something else for this week. Which has given me the opportunity to share it with you personally!

Dana Beanie
Designed by Amy Yarbrough, copyrighted January 21, 2015

Medium weight yarn, between 40 – 50 yards
Crochet hook G (4.00mm)

Finished Size
(Hat stretches comfortably 2 – 4 inches)
Fits head size 20” – 22” in circumference

Round 1 – 2 measures 1 ¼ inches

Dc – double crochet
Ch – chain
Sc – single crochet
Sl st – slip stitch
Sp – space

Round 1: ch 2, 6 sc in second ch from hook, sl st in first sc: 6 sc
Round 2: (ch 4, sl st in next sc) 5 times, ch 2, dc in base of beginning ch-4: 6 ch-sps
Round 3: (ch 4, sl st in next ch-sp, ch 4, sl st in same ch-sp, ch 4) 3 times except ch 2 instead of 4 at the last, dc in base of beginning ch-4: 9 ch-sps
Round 4: (ch 5, sl st in next ch-sp) 8 times, ch 3, dc in base of beginning ch-5: 9 ch-sps
Round 5: (ch 5, sl st in next ch-sp, ch 5, sl st in same ch-sp) 4 times, sl st in next ch-sp, ch 3, dc in base of beginning ch-5: 13 ch-sps
Round 6 – 17: (ch 6, sl st in next ch-sp) 12 times, ch 3, dc in base of beginning ch-5: 13 ch-sps
Row 18: ch 3, dc across next dc, 4 dc in each ch-sp around, 2 dc in ending ch-3 sp, sl st in first ch-3: 76 dc
Finish off.

Just so you know, I haven't had this pattern proofed by another crocheter, so if you encounter any problems, I would appreciate it if you let me know. AND, if there is any of you who would like to volunteer to be a proof-crocheter for me when I post these once-in-a-while patterns, let me know! It would help me immensely.

Thoughts on the Book of Job and Suffering

When I began reading the book of Job a few weeks ago I had the intentions of finding out the answer to the age old question, "Why does man have to suffer?"

Obviously, because of man's decision to sin at the beginning of creation (as we know of from Genesis 3) we and all of creation are cursed and will be until the Messiah comes again. In the meantime, we must pay the consequences for our sins which results in suffering.

If you've read the book of Job you know the story. Job was a very godly man with a very prosperous life. When the Devil challenges Job's loyalty, God agrees to allow him to test Job. The Devil goes to work and Job loses his family, his wealth, and his health; everything except for his life.

It is very important to realize that though God did agree to the Devil's "suggestion", He personally did not need this question answered --He already knew the outcome. 

Through the conversations between Job and his three friends we see that Job is oblivious to why God is allowing this to happen to him. His friends insist he must be paying for a particular sin, but Job is adamant that he has been righteous and is undeserving of this apparent punishment.

In spite of this, at one point he says: "When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold," (23:10). His faith astounds me. I find it hard to believe that, were I in a similar situation, I would have the ability to say the same.

Time and again Job asks God why. His belief is that one only suffers when one is being punished.

And don't we? When we are going through a particularly trying time, don't we began asking God, "What am I being punished for?"

When I had finished the book and was thinking about it, it hit me quite suddenly that God never did answer Job's question. He never told him of the heavenly exchange. All those "why's" fell away when God began to speak to Job.

After everyone had come to the end of their explanations and Job, his justifications, God says:

"Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me," (38:2).

He proceeds to ask Job if he was present when He created the world and set up it's boundaries. For two whole chapters, the Lord lays it on the line for Job, comparing his idea of personal importance to the enormity of God and His accomplishments.

In chapter 40, Job speaks again, but this time his words are unusually short. "Behold, I am vile," he says to God, "what shall I answer You? I lay my hand over my mouth. Once I have spoken, but I will not answer; yes, twice, but I will proceed no further."

Simply put, Job realized, when compared with God's magnitude, his complaints were pitiful to say the least. What is man when compared to Almighty God?

We have such a tendency to speak out about our grievances when we can only respond within the little box of our limited understanding. In the end, righteous-but-still-imperfect Job is humbled. "I know that You can do everything...I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know," (42:2-3).

Job learned the lesson God intended for him --and the Devil lost the wager.

God blessed Job even more than before by restoring to him his wealth, with increase, and his health, giving him more children and a long life.

Though this is a very hard lesson to learn, the truth of the matter is, God is enough in our suffering. We are not always meant to know why. We are, however, meant to trust the One who does.

It's enough to know that God knows why.