Ups and Downs

Everyone knows how hard it is to organize a busy schedule, no doubt about that. And in this world, everyone is busy, ALL THE TIME! But I’m not here to talk about our chronic diseases and tell the world how to get over it. Sorry.

Personally, I’m here to talk about my problems. Lovely, huh? Well, it’s not that bad. Or at least to the public. For me, it’s my life! But everything can be solved with a little patience and a lot of prayer, right? Right!

For two years now (actually two years this week!) I’ve worked as a professional crochet pattern designer for Crochet Spot. Since then I have learned more than I ever thought I would –about myself, what I can handle and accomplish if I put my mind to it. I’m so very grateful God has given me this opportunity to stretch and learn new things.

But lately, I’ve been wondering if it’s time to move on. My crochet inspiration has been waning and my physical aches while crocheting have strained me to my limit. I was honestly considering quitting my job and focusing solely on my writing. I struggled with this because this job has been my only source (as of yet) of profit, and though living at home keeps me from having to pay the ordinary cost of living, I need not tell you how handy it is to be making some kind of dependable profit. By quitting I would be having to cut back on my spending and depend on my writing to fulfill any needs. At the moment, my writing jobs have been on the “free contribution” side. I’m still building my reputation and abilities. That’s not to say I can’t handle a writing job. Let’s just say God hasn’t provided me with one yet.

And so, here I was, ready to come to the point where I make the decision, despite the main let-down. Then my boss, who has had no idea of the decisions I am preparing to make, emails me informing me of a raise. I don’t know what you would consider it, but I know God meant that for me as an answer to my question.

But what about my writing intentions? What about my pains? My lack of inspiration? What about… etc, etc. I don’t know about those. All I do know is that I need a superior being to rule my life because living in this world is too hard for me to do alone. I don’t want to live my whole life struggling to “make a buck” and keep my head above the water. I want to know I am doing what God created me to do! I want the peace that that involves. I realize that doesn’t mean prosperity, but what is peace in your heart and a sense of knowing you are doing the right thing compared with all the money in the world?! God is my master and since I believe He has a plan for my life, my quest is to find out exactly what that is. And if that means waiting until He provides, then that’s what I have to do. Isn’t it better than shoving ahead and getting second best?

Unfortunately, I don’t have all the answers. I know that’s why a lot of people read blogs, hoping to find that others have found the answers they are looking for. What you need is tailor-made answers that suit you in all your difference and uniqueness. Did you know there is a perfect plan for your life? God has a different perfect plan for each human being! It’s the best thing this side of heaven for us. And the only thing that will make us truly happy.

I just pray that I will have the patience and the trust to let God bring about His perfect plan for MY life.

And that’s where I am now. At the mercy of my Master. Where are you?

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